vandalswithjetpacks:

The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable.

peep-toe-shoes:

jointhecarrotarmy:

silence-insolace:

solluxforpresident:

karkatforpresident:

Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry.

someone bumped into my chair and i punched them in the face

someone bumped into my chair and I didn’t even give a fuck

someone bumped into my chair and i start a revolution 

No one bumped into my chair because they weren’t able to assemble it.

camiekahle:

i-am-superjohnlocked:

i-drugged-your-coffee-jawn:

moranighosty:

susannaholmes:

freyahere:

a man walks into a bar

the bartender says “why the long face”

the man bursts into tears because he’s benedict cumberbatch

the bartender apologizes

the bartender is tom hiddleston

They then get a drink and talk about their cheekbones

matt smith joins the conversation

Soon followed by Colin Morgan

(Source: moraniarty)

illogical-tribble:

iflops:

Basic plot of every Star Trek episode:

Kirk: I’m gonna go do the thing

Spock: It is illogical to go do the thing

McCoy: Goddammit Spock stop being so—

Spock: *insert sass here*

McCoy: *insert more sass here*

Kirk: *goes and does the thing*

Spock and McCoy: *still sassin around*

Chekov: *explains how sass was invented in Russia*

Sulu: *sass engaged at warp speed*

Scotty: THE SHIP CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE SASS CAPTAIN.

notneverbrilliant:

misha-parked-the-tardis-in-221b:

We have now all fallen from great heights